The New Normal, My New Normal

So I think I have mentioned about my crush. We met in an unusual way, he did some professional work for me. When he delivered the product we talked and talked and talked. He has had quite a bit of loss in his life and he opened up to me about it. Now we have been emailing quite a bit. I think I made a move today. He has been very busy with his work, so I left him a message offering to help him out with simple errands he may have to do. Anyway, I am hoping to hear from him. I have no kids on Friday evening and I invited him over for a drink. We’ll see, he’ll probably say no. I don’t get it, I haven’t dated in 20 years, I don’t even know what to do. But I asked. I don’t know why I’m so in like with him. My therapist says it is perfectly normal but if this is a good guy, do I want it to be a rebound? Is it a rebound? I miss my husband, yes, but I hadn’t thought of dating at all, hadn’t thought about meeting someone. I just met him and there was a spark. I can’t explain it, but there was. So do I delay the dating because it’s only been 8 months? I don’t want to lose a good friend who might turn into something more later. I guess I should be thankful that I have this dilemma.

I don’t know if he likes me. That is sort of a problem. I recently told him about someone I went on a couple of dates with a month or so ago. I did it just to see if I could and it really didn’t go anywhere. Well I hadn’t told “crush” yet about the dates because I didn’t want him to think poorly of me. Anyway, when he emailed me back about it, he referred the “date” as the “other guy.” And that got my hopes up. Geez, how pathetic am I? I’m reading between the lines yes, but now I put it out there. I invited him over and beyond that I don’t want to make a pest or fool of myself. So if he says no then I am going to tell him I am finished asking and if it’s ever going to happen it is up to him to do the asking.

Geez. I am pathetic…..

Amie